On the 24th of September 2020 the I was given an assessment to write an introduction to a short story. I love English and find that I perform well in this subject so this was a task that I was immensely looking forward to. For this task I wrote the beginnings of a detective murder mystery.
I received for the assessment 93.33% and an abridged version of the feedback can be seen below:
This was fantastic writing, David. Your main character, Detective Blake, and problematic Village Policeman, Officer Crotch, were both detailed, engaging and plausible. The setting was well controlled and useful. The plot was revealed at a good pace. The ending could have been a little stronger to make it clearer that the orientation was finished and the rising tension was about to begin, but that was a very small part of a very engaging text.
Mrs Watts Feedback on the Short Story
For this assessment I am especially proud of my slow release of information:
“Just a dent in the door” or “A string of fishing wire obviously cut [lay hanging from the rope]”.
Short Story (C) David Duff
This allowed the suspense to build for the reader whilst revealing necessary information to keep the story moving. These quotes though made sure to keep the ending a surprise. This is important so that at the conclusion the reader feels like reading to the end has achieved something. Not spoiling the story in the orientation.
For this assessment I am also proud of my natural dialogue which helped create a range of fictional personalities:
“You should have already read the file” or ‘”No” the answer from Officer Crotch was short and blunt.” A competing personality is “Ah, yes kind sir, I was just waiting for an Officer Crotch.”
Short Story (c) David Duff
By making the dialogue more natural it makes reading the story a pleasant experience. Having dialogue like this also leads naturally to complications as the two personalities clash. These complications make the writing more interesting to read. People love complications which means they are more likely to continue and finish reading the writing.
I feel like this task is a good demonstration of my editing and refinement skills. We can see this because earlier iterations of the writing lacked necessary flow. Using my editing skills I improved the flow of the writing. I also demonstrated my ability to listen to feedback making my writing smoother and easier to read.
I feel that next time that I need to communicate in writing I will be able to do it using the right tone. I am also confident I will be able to be creative with the creation of any further stories, or fiction based texts.